


remembrance

by orphan_account



Series: help me breathe [10]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangs, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-26 13:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5006734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things turn around, if just for a little bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	remembrance

**Author's Note:**

> neato.  
> i've just got nothing to say abt this ever  
> kudos + comments are appreciated!

Dongsung remembers a smile.

Far within distant memories, like a lighthouse through the fog- he remembers a smile. A smile and-

Eyes. Full of pity.

_I know what he did to you_.

 

“So, I go over to the sect house, right, and there’s- hold on, there’s someone at the damn door.”

Sanggyun heaves himself off the couch, walking over to the door and peeking through the peep hole. He feels himself go pale.

“Who is it?” Yoonchul asks over the phone, and Sanggyun inhales deeply, stepping away from the door.

“Dongsung.”

“What?!”

“It’s Dongsung,” Sanggyun replies, shaky. He walks back to the door, peeking through the hole again. “It- It looks like he’s been crying? Should I answer it?”

“I’m- I’m not far from home, wait until I get there, okay?”

Sanggyun makes a noise of agreement, sending Yoonchul off with I-love-yous and be-safes. He stays close to the door, cheek pressed up against it and turned in just the right angle to keep his sights on Dongsung.

From what Sanggyun remembers of his few visits to Sehyuk’s sect house, almost two years ago now, he only saw Dongsung once. He looked so angry, full of hatred and coiled tight like a bomb waiting to go off. Now it looks almost like the bomb did go off and that Sanggyun’s looking at shrapnel.

As he watches, Dongsung suddenly speaks.

“I… Whoever lives here, I can’t- I can’t remember your name, I can’t really remember anything- but I need help…” A few moments pass, filled with only Sanggyun’s quiet breathing and Dongsung shifting slightly from beyond the door. “I-It’s understandable, if you don’t trust me, so you don’t have to let me in, I just need help.”

Sanggyun grits his teeth. He has to wait until Yoonchul is here, he doesn’t know if Sehyuk sent him. It could turn out bad if it’s a set up.

So Sanggyun waits. It only takes a few minutes for Yoonchul to turn up, Dongsung whipping around when he hears Yoonchul. Sanggyun sees that Yoonchul has his hands closed around his pistol, but the instant Dongsung drops to his knees, all malice disappears.

Within a few minutes, they have Dongsung on their couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a mug of coffee in his hands.

“What the fuck is going on,” Sanggyun asks flatly, staring into the living room from the kitchen. “That’s Sehyuk’s like, top henchman, and here he is all teary eyed and whiny on our couch. What the fuck happened?”

Yoonchul casts a look over his shoulder, worry creasing his forehead. “I- I’m really not sure, because… Sehyuk basically brainwashed him. If he’s remembering things about who he used to be- or, god, what he’s done for Sehyuk…”

Sanggyun makes a face, shaking his head shortly. “God, I can’t imagine. I guess we should probably go talk to him, right?”

Yoonchul doesn’t respond, simply heads off to the living room, so Sanggyun follows. Yoonchul pulls the armchair around and sits directly across from Dongsung, and Sanggyun opts to stand near Yoonchul for now.

“Dongsung,” Yoonchul says softly, and his tone reminds Sanggyun of someone talking to a hurt animal. “What happened?”

Dongsung’s hands shake as he sets his mug down on the table, then drags them down his face. “I- my head hurts so bad, so so bad. I have a brother, I saw him- his name is Donghyun, Sehyuk- he never told me I had a brother. I don’t know what to do, I know so much and yet so little and I can’t remember  _anything_ …” Dongsung lets his hands fall away from his face, looking from Yoonchul to Sanggyun. “What did Sehyuk do to me?”

Yoonchul looks at Sanggyun, silently urging for a gentle explanation. Sanggyun doesn’t have one so he says, “He fucked you up, man.”

Dongsung nods, looking down at his lap. “I know, I feel so bad… What have I done, I don’t remember- anything, I remember… Sangwon and Hansol and that one boy, ah, he disappeared… And there’s Taeyang, and they’re all- they all work for Sehyuk too, but Taeyang talks to his sister and Hansol went out with friends just a couple days ago so why aren’t they like this too? What did Sehyuk do to me that he hasn’t done to them?”

It’s obvious that Dongsung’s working through his thoughts on his own, rambling to sort himself out, so Yoonchul and Sanggyun remain silent, save for a soft “go get him some Tylenol, Sanggyun,” from Yoonchul.

Sanggyun obliges, bringing water because pills go down much easier with water. When Dongsung looks up at him in confusion, he explains, “Pain pills. It’ll help your head, I promise.”

Dongsung takes them without further question, gulping down the water and exhaling loudly once it’s gone, handing the glass back to Sanggyun. “Can… Can I stay here, for a bit? I remember you,” he pauses to look at Yoonchul, licking his lips contemplatively. “Y… Yoonchul, the assassin… Sehyuk calls you ‘that asshole’, I remember. I remember- you have the brightest smile…”

Yoonchul stands, nodding as he approaches Dongsung with hands outstretched, like Dongsung’s a feral dog. Maybe he is. “Lay down, Dongsung, sleep for a bit. Your head might feel clearer when you wake up, dear.”

Dongsung obeys, laying down on the couch and curling in on himself. Yoonchul goes to get a pillow and another blanket, helping Dongsung settle in before ushering for Sanggyun to follow him out of the room.

Sanggyun does with a look over his shoulder, flopping onto the bed when Yoonchul stops in their bedroom.

“This is bad,” Yoonchul says, and Sanggyun makes a noise of agreement. “Holy shit, if Sehyuk finds out we’ve got Dongsung, he’s going to be after our fucking asses.”

“He’s already after Dongsung’s ass, no doubt.” Sanggyun says, turning his head to the side so he won’t be muffled by the bed clothing. “God, Dongsung sounds so fucking wrecked. What has he found out about himself… I can’t begin to imagine.”

Yoonchul sighs, sitting down on the bed and pushing Sanggyun’s hair away from his face. “We have to think about ourselves first, you know, but he’s just… so pitiful. We can afford to house him for… a day at the most. Any longer and Sehyuk will know.”

 

Dongsung dreams of home.

He hasn’t dreamt in what feels like years, but this time he just remembers. He can remember his mother’s face and what her cooking tastes like and playing with his brother when they were young.

He recalls reading once that none of the faces you see in your dreams are ever made up; you’ve always seen them before, somewhere or another. He’s convinced that he’s seeing his family.

He’s seeing his family happy, and then he’s seeing his family dead.

He wakes up crying and for one of the first times in his life, there’s someone there to hand him tissues. Sanggyun, that’s his name- gentle but wary, loving and kind and handing Dongsung more than just one tissue, it’s the whole box.

“Do you want something to eat?” Sanggyun asks, looking down at Dongsung, from where Dongsung is still cocooned in his blankets. “We have like, bacon and biscuits ready, you can come eat with us…”

Dongsung nods, rising slowly, and Sanggyun offers a hand to help. Dongsung takes it.

The biscuits are dry in his mouth, but it’s no fault of Yoonchul’s cooking.

 

Hansol takes the stairs two at a time when he awakes to crashing downstairs, thinking that maybe someone’s broken in or that Sangwon’s trying to kill someone. But once his feet hit the carpet he can hear Sehyuk shouting, and then, once he peeks into the kitchen, Sehyuk surrounded by shattered dishes and with bleeding hands.

“Boss, what the fuck are you doing?” Hansol says, loud enough for Sehyuk to hear.

Sehyuk whips around, and Hansol’s surprised to see tears streaked down his face. “Dongsung’s gone, I don’t know where he is, and I can’t find him. He must have turned off his phone or something, he won’t respond to me and I just can’t find him…”

There’s a remark on Hansol’s tongue about Sehyuk deserving this and that he hopes Dongsung’s gone for good, but he lets it die in favor of going to get the broom. Sehyuk sits at the table and cries into his bloody hands while Hansol sweeps up the broken ceramic and glass and dumps it into the trash, looking into the cabinets and making a mental note to go buy more plates later.

“Boss,” Hansol says to get Sehyuk’s attention, “do I have permission to be a little shit with no repercussions?”

Sehyuk nods, wiping his cheeks and eyes with his sleeves.

“Okay. Ahem- to repeat my earlier question, what the fuck are you doing?” Hansol keeps talking before Sehyuk has the chance to respond, closing one of the cabinet doors with his hip. “Seriously, the same goddamn thing happened to me. We are shitty people, Sehyuk. Nobody fucking deserves us, and we don’t deserve anyone better than us. You don’t get the fucking right to throw shit and break every plate in the goddamn house just because someone you’ve abused for nearly four years finally wisened up and stopped taking your shit.”

Sehyuk remains silent, wiping his still-bleeding hands on his pants and looking down at the table.

“You did this to yourself, Boss,” Hansol says, raking a hand through his hair. “Now either cut the shit and go find him, or get over it.”

 

“Can you tell me about yourself?”

Sanggyun looks up from his phone, arching an eyebrow. “Really?”

Dongsung nods, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “Yeah, I- I need a distraction, and that’s good, right? Get to know one another, that’s good…”

Sanggyun concedes, turning his phone display off and laying it on the table. He starts into the regular rundown of his life story, getting about halfway through before Dongsung interrupts him (and however politely he does it, how cute).

“I’m sorry, but I- I moreso wanted to know about, um, what you like… what you like to do, and what your favorite things are… things like that.” Dongsung looks away from Sanggyun’s face, seemingly embarrassed. “Because, I don’t… I don’t really remember those things about myself, so.”

Sanggyun feels the almost-familiar pang of sympathy in his chest. “Ah, well, uh… I mostly just do stuff with Yoonchul, but when he’s gone I play video games. Uh, do you- do you wanna play with me?”

Dongsung perks up a little, returning his gaze to Sanggyun. “What sort of video games do you have? I think- I think I used to play them, when I was a teenager…”

“Oh man, I’ve got the coolest shit.” Sanggyun stands up and heads over to the stand with all his and Yoonchul’s DVDs, CDs, and games. “Here, come here!”

Dongsung rises from the couch, shuffling over with his blanket wrapped tightly around him, peeking over Sanggyun’s shoulder to look through the games as Sanggyun runs his fingertips along the spines of the cases. “Ah… what is your favorite?”

Sanggyun immediately snatches Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood off the shelf, handing it to Dongsung, then takes the Last of Us and Far Cry 4 off as well. “These, these. I can’t pick between them, let’s play them all.”

Within the hour, Dongsung is hunkered over a controller, following Sanggyun’s directions to  _go here_  and  _kill this guy_  and  _stop, fuck, make sure the guards don’t get you_. Sanggyun still feels a little weird, knowing that this dude works for his number one enemy, but when he hears Dongsung laugh for the first time as his character glitches through the roof- it seems worth the risk, at least a little bit.

 

Dongsung wakes up to Sanggyun talking in hushed tones from across the room. He keeps silent so he avoids disturbing him.

“He’s really so sweet, Yoonchul,” Sanggyun says, shifting in the chair. “We played Assassin’s Creed for hours last night, he’s so kind. I wish Sehyuk hadn’t fucked with him, he’d make a really good friend.” A pause as presumably Yoonchul replies, and Sanggyun laughs, sad. “Nah. If Sehyuk gets ahold of him, he’s dead.” Another pause, silent. “I’m scared for him.”

Dongsung feels tears fill his eyes but wills himself to stay quiet and still so Sanggyun doesn’t know he’s awake. He figures Sanggyun would stop talking about such things if he knew Dongsung was awake, and Dongsung wants to  _know_.

“But really, what can we do? Kill Sehyuk ourselves?” Pause. “Good idea, actually.” Laughter from the other end of the line, audible even from where Dongsung lays. “He’ll be fine. I hope he’ll be fine, at least, I really like him.”

Something warm settles in Dongsung’s chest. Someone likes him. He has a friend, maybe two.

The tears escape.


End file.
